I was talking with a coaching client recently, and the breakthrough he shared with me was too good to keep to myself.

He’s not new to the game. Decades in the mortgage industry. A seasoned pro. But even with all that experience, he hit a wall. Referrals had slowed down. Business felt harder than it should. The spark was fading.

Then something shifted.

Over the last few months, his referrals literally tripled. His excitement for the business shot through the roof. Momentum returned.

So of course, I asked the question: What changed?

His answer was simple.
“When I stopped selling and started doing business from the heart, everything shifted.”

Now, if you’ve been around me for any amount of time, you know I love that answer. Because that’s exactly what relationship marketing is all about.

See, for years he’d approached business like most professionals do: focus on sales goals, talk about his services, try to close the deal. It worked… but only up to a point.

(Check out the video for more, or read on below...)

​

The breakthrough came when he decided to flip the script. Instead of asking, “How can I get more referrals?” he started asking, “How can I give more?”

Here’s what that looked like in practice:

➡️ He picked up the phone—not to sell, but to check in on people.

➡️ He started making introductions between partners who could help each other.

➡️ He looked for ways to refer business out, even if it didn’t come back right away.

➡️He showed up in conversations and online posts with generosity, not an agenda.

And he added one powerful commitment: he wanted to give twice as many referrals as he received.

That’s what fueled the change.

Because here’s the thing: relationship marketing isn’t about transactions—it’s about transformation. It’s about shifting the way people see you in the marketplace. Instead of being “the salesperson,” you become “the connector,” “the servant leader,” “the trusted partner.”

And people respond to that. They want to work with someone who makes them feel valued. They want to refer someone who shows up with a giving spirit.

So let me bring this home to you.

What would change if you stopped measuring every interaction by what you could get—and instead, looked at what you could give?

What if you called a referral partner today, not to ask for business, but to ask how you can support them?
​
What if you walked into your next one-to-one meeting focused on listening more than talking?
​
What if you made it your mission this week to connect two people who should know each other, even if there’s no direct benefit to you?

That’s the brilliance of relationship marketing. It’s not complicated. It’s not gimmicky. It’s just servant leadership in action.

So here’s my challenge to you:​
Pick one simple way to serve a referral partner this week—without the expectation of return. Do it with a genuine heart. Then watch what happens.

I’ll leave you with this: my client didn’t “triple his referrals” by working harder. He did it by working differently. He led with giving instead of getting. And that choice changed everything.

​

Appreciate you,

Brian

PS—If you’re curious what it would look like to build your own Radically Referable business, let’s talk. Sometimes the smallest shift can create the biggest breakthrough.

Whenever you're ready, there are 2 ways I can help you:

1. Get unstuck and build momentum in just 12 weeks with The Boardroom​
2. Get referral partnerships that take you places marketing can't with Referral Partner Transformation​

​